Mr. Smith Teaches Patience

They say, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I wasn’t ready for Mr. Smith.

He taught me patience. It was a painful process, but lastnight, he said, “You have more patience than you give yourself credit for.” Thank you Mr. Smith.

We live two hours away from one another, so texting keeps us in touch. When we first met, I asked him, “Where do you like to go to sit in peace?” He told me, “The Ranch.”

I had no clue what ranch his was referring to , but could see how that could be peaceful. Back then, I thought texting was about immediate response. ‘If you’re going to have a conversation, then let’s keep it flowing’, was my thought. He would pause before responding, and send me a thought out response.

That showed me how thoughtful he is, and it felt like an actual conversation instead of texting.

Here is how I learned patience, and he hasn’t changed, so it’s still in practice today. Whoever texts last, would wait for the other to respond. This might be minutes, or hours, but we agreed to wait.

In the beginning it was like torture! I didn’t wanna wait! Technology is meant to be fast!

Then one day, we were having this beautiful conversation, and he just disappeared. I didn’t think much about when it was only a few minutes, but as the hours went by I became concerned. I texted him just to make sure he was okay. No response.

Of course I worked myself into a frenzy running every scenario imaginable through my mind. Then, my phone buzzed, and it was him. I am sure he couldn’t understand why I was so worked up, when all he had done was gone to the Ranch.

He was sitting in peace, and I was ready to dial 911.

He realized that he forgot to tell me there is no good phone service on the Ranch. My sweetest memory of this whole fiasco is, he drove to the top of the ranch, where he would get a signal, and responded.

We have come a long way Mr. Smith. Thank you for patience.

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He sent this yesterday.
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Introducing, Mr. Smith

Once I left my 25 year marriage, I felt like a failure.

“I don’t need no man”, was my tagline. That is what I told myself, but there is a difference between need, and want. I like men, and knew one day the right one would show up. At the time he didn’t look like what I envisioned, but that was just another thought process that needed letting go. God had proved multiple times that His plan is nothing like mine.

Time has passed, and I see that people come into my life for a reason, and sometimes only a season. Each person has made me better in some way. My hope would be that they are better for visiting, but that is up to them. A really good relationship is about so much more than love. This year I’ve learned patience.

It takes a butt ton of patience, and understanding.

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When I met Mr. Smith I told him, “You don’t have to worry about breaking my heart. I can do that myself!” More time has passed, and I know that he wouldn’t.

When I told him, “God gave me this title, Bentnotbroken,” Smith showed me a picture of his back. Tattooed from the top of his spine, all the way down, were the words, “Bent not broken.”

I just sat there in shock, and stared at the picture.

Had God given me a Blog/Book title, or a man?

Who You Are

I bought a necklace on Etsy, and wore it everyday. It was a Meme that said, “Life doesn’t sparkle unless you do.” The finish started peeling off from the wear.

I found this one today, and purchased it immediately.

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I was looking for this quote, and found the necklace.

That is the same way I found the other necklace. Just out of curiosity. Is it a Meme, or a necklace? It’s both. I’m excited to give my other one a much needed rest.

I’m learning about stillness. It is hard to find complete stillness. To sit still, or have alone time is one thing, but to tune into your surroundings and everything is completely still, at the same moment?

It’s a magical moment to find out who you really are.

I Killed It

My daughter started with succulents. That was easy because you can get away with ignoring those.

Then she suggested Boston Ferns for the front porch this year. That was scary. You see, I tend to over care. They have always looked intimidating. How could something that beautiful be easy to care for?

They are easy, so I gained confidence, and bought an indoor plant. At the time, it spoke to me for two reasons. It looked the way I felt inside, and it was $2.00. If I killed it, it was not a large investment.

It was going in my bedroom, which was kept cool, and dim. It doesn’t receive a lot of natural light, unless the drapes are opened. They weren’t opened very wide at the time, if at all. We enjoyed the dark.

After about a week, I noticed the plant was loosing it’s rich green color. It wasn’t receiving enough light. so I turned the lamp on for it, but it still looked sad.

It was turning brown, so I took it into the kitchen, and sat it in the sunny window. That was too much light at once, so it fried it. What had I learned?

I took it down from the window sill, and sat it on the counter near the light. Eventually it began new growth, but it was slow. After a couple of weeks of doctoring, I went back to the plant store, and bought a new one to try again with my newfound knowledge. The lady who helps me, looked puzzled because she knew I had already purchased one a month before.

She asked about that one, and I said, “I killed it.”

Handing me the new one, she said, “Try it again.”

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This I Know

When I was a little girl, we went to church. Mama was very active in the church, so the whole family went. Mama didn’t give us a choice until we were 18.

There was a song we sang in Sunday school, and you’ve probably heard it. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” We learned it by heart.

Mama made us go to church, so when I turned 18, I left. Who wants to be ‘made’, or forced to do something? I may have left the church, but Mama knew what she was doing. I still don’t question Gods love for me. His love is the one love I know is true.

When I look over my life, and ponder what has bent me the most, it’s relationships. I haven’t written in-depth about them publicly before, but writing heals.

I don’t write about specific people, or use any names. It’s what the person taught me that will fall to the page. If they read this Blog, and realize it is them being used as an example, my hope would be they feel honored for being worth writing about.

I want to document this season of my life, because I haven’t done that before. Most people keep private journals, which I have a stack of, but keeping it private doesn’t help anyone but me. This life is not all about me, and even that took time to know.

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This I know.

Airplane Mode

When you travel by plane, the stewardess will ask that you put your phone on airplane mode. I use that time for my phone and me to rest, and turn it off.

That setting does come in handy though. I use it every night before bed. If I set the alarm on my phone to wake me up the next day, this setting allows the alarm to do so. The phone operates normally because email, messaging, and social media notifications come in, but are kept quiet. No more being jolted awake by the buzzing of life via phone.

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You have power over your life, but are you in control?

This morning, I grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat in the front porch swing, watching the day begin. A bird has decided to build a nest in one of our Boston Fern hanging baskets. You can read about those here. As I sat there, she flew by with a beak full of twigs, and landed on the chain holding the swing in place, right beside me. As if saying, “Top of the morning to ya!”

There is nothing in my life today that comes before the beauty of a new day. Just sitting quietly, spending time with God, and pondering the days possibilities. I wouldn’t be awake if it wasn’t for Him, so it makes sense to spend time in gratitude for another day.

Life has a natural ebb and flow. Are you in it?

Sleep. That will be another Blog, but I will say this. Listen to your body, and I mean really tap in. My body needs a solid 7 hours a night of rest. If I’ve had a busy week, I don’t set my alarm Friday through Sunday. My body wakes up when it’s ready for the day. Walking across the room, I glance at my phone to see what came in and is waiting, but it can wait.

Airplane mode. It’s not just for airplanes.

When Givers Collide

My hope is that you are a giver, and you are aligning yourself with other givers. No takers allowed.

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The people we choose to have in our inner most circle should resemble watering cans. My daughter and I are very close, and on days that she feels weak, I am strong. This happens often, or when I feel weak, she is the strong one. On those days we care for one another a little more than normal. We give to the other what they may be lacking in that moment.

Be a giver, and surround yourself with the givers of this world. “I water you, you water me, we never drain each other, we just grow.” It’s like magic indeed.